baibelicious

I love you more than tearing wave after waves of zombies apart.

I love you more than hitting spectacular thirty-yarders and making invisible ghosting runs into the box and scoring fantastic goals.

I love you more than the joy you bring me when you play along.

I love you more than awesome clothes and sweet shoes.

I loved you more than even ultimate itself.

I love you more than dice and games and dungeons and dragons.

I love you more than camaraderie and the good old days.

I loved you more than myself.

I love you more than the two years I spent watching you from the shadows (and I'm still watching, but with a lot less).

I love you more than you think.

---

Preamble:

It is altogether too easy to discuss a topic with which one has had no experience or knows nothing about. That is why I will altogether avoid Plato's Symposium, in which he apparently discusses many issues salient to the following.

I generally think of myself as an unlucky man save in one regard (which off late has fallen off; perhaps due to my taking it for granted). I speak, of course, of affection, and one-sided relationships; I have had the priviledge (misfortune?) to have been on both sides of the river, as well as drowning in the river on one occasion.

The question we seek to examine is this: whether it is better to be loved or to love. Let us begin from the premise: it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. In this, we speak merely of having been in love - in which direction, we set aside for the moment - and agree first that there is a net positive benefit from being in this clumsy tangle known as "love".

Assuming both provide a net positive benefit, which is better?

The coast is clear!! Exams are over for the time being, so academics are out of my sight, at least until January 11th. Time for some R&R -- I'm off to Shenzhen / Hong Kong in two days till Christmas, but I'll be bringing my laptop with me, so you'll get constant annoying posts about me eating dim sum :')

You should skip this and go to LJ-cut #2, this one is for my own reference, although thoughts are welcome etc. etc.:

( Thoughts about school, this semester, and myself. )

----

On to happier things:

( Thoughts about football: THEY'RE EUROPEAN SO IT'S OKAY. Incentive: Pictures included. )

My mum came into my room just as I was scrolling through a page of ambiguously gay pictures, so being the stupidest person on earth I did what you should never do but will always do instinctively, which was slam the laptop cover shut. WRONG. This led to five minutes of interrogation and my furious denial of doing anything fishy (well, technically not fishy) and now my mum is Extremely Suspicious about like, everything ever. I hope she forgets about it tomorrow.

I've kept this fangirling thing a secret for nearly eight years now! I don't want to blow my cover, omg, if she finds out the truth she will have a fit.

Ai Mai: The simple philosophy of life
To Love or To Be Loved, That is The Question
Masks 1: Everybody Wears Masks (I just realised this)
Masks 2: Tragicomica
Masks 3: The Idiot Mask

to whoever wrote and commented on my last ljpost

Thank you. I appreciate it strongly

and this I promise you; I will write more

some topics I would like to discuss

Fishes And Ponds Big & Small - Ambition and Alan Smith
The Cynical Theory of Everything
Dark Ethics (and possibly religion)
Frisbee & Me (be a bloody sight more exciting than bloody Marley & Me too)
The Lonelyman's Bet (possibly a very short story)
A Theory of Poaching
Disturbia v Insomnia
some more stuff I forgot about

But first, a brief preview

If the world ended in 2012, what would you regret?

Quick sketch of the answer:

"...it used to be "not having had sex". And this, at a glance, would tell you everything you need to know about me - visibly base, low, and obsessed with hedonistic pursuits and totally reprehensible. But as with me, it is an answer with multiple layers...

"...at least, for me, having had sex with somebody would represent a major commitment and a closeness to somebody, so much so that I am willing to take responsibility if anything occurs...

"...at least, it represents closure for me. And that is why I would have regretted not having had sex before the world ended...

"...as I have said; I am unimportant. I am driven and motivated by others."

missing u lots♥

CALLING FOR ARTISTIC ASSISTANCE

HI ALL YOU JUNIORS.

I HEAR THE A LEVEL EXAMS ARE OVER.

WELL HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!

okay no not really, but i'm in the Freshmen Orientation Programme (FOP) Standing Committee (SC) from the University Scholars Programme (USP) at NUS (oh my god acronyms double plus) and we want to sell MUGS.

these mugs need DESIGNS.

these mugs need YOU 8D

if you've got time on your hands, or you just would like to embark on an artistic adventure, you can just send me a mug design - that's all we need - and we'll mass produce it on mugs which we will sell to raise funds for FOP'10. easy peasy! the mugs we're using are most likely these ikea ones, though white. the medium is artfriend's porcelain markers. i don't have a lot of details yet, but this is probably it! (if you have a solution that's cheaper and more practical than porcelain markers, let me know!)

it'd be awesome if you could help draw on the mugs as well (because the FOP team is, uh, artistically-challenged). we want to sell them at the end of january, so i think drawing will be done in january itself. target audience - NUS students, or that general age group.

IF YOU ARE NOT OF THE AGE AS MENTIONED ABOVE AND WANT TO HELP OUT TOO YOU CAN VOLUNTEER YOURSELF \O/ OTHERWISE FOP IS GOING TO BE SELLING MUGS DESIGNED BY MISS MELISSA LIM, AND THAT ARE HELLA UGLY ;D

♥♥♥

Oh god my mum is in the shower so I am all alone in the living room with the TV turned on to this Korean channel that has some Korean show that I do not know about. So like these two guys (whom I think are policemen) are in a carpark and very nearly punching the shit out of each other and it's all very intense and shit. And they are both very hot and have very nice cheekbones and stuff and like, this bodyguard guy comes over to try to break up the fight and they both whip out their staff passes at the same time and say "We're cops, go the fuck away" or something in Korean at the same time and continue giving each other really intense glares of hatred

I swear my day has been made

( major tl;dr )

This week I have been entertained quite fully by the dual forces of ontd_football and ontd_tennis oh my god if I don't pimp them out then I am not a loyal minion of ONTD. I barely know the players except for some very famous ones but sklfhsldkfj everything is so hilarious and everyone is so funny I LOVE IT. I AM INCOHERENT WITH JOY.

After submitting our essays~~ the friggin chinese history 4000 word one.. ugh 1 down 2 more to go.. and they're like supp to be 6000-7000 words CRAP. n i ttly havent read my text for like a million other subjects~~ UGH OH WELL GG FOR DIM THE SUM NOW YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First off -- thank you, Kat and Khor, for sending me the Christmas cookies!! slfkjsdlf I'm sorry I sat on it for so long that when I wanted to send some back LJ already took them off. And to everyone who's reading this, I'M OFFICIALLY SENDING YOU A METAPHORICAL SNOWFLAKE COOKIE. THING. RIGHT NOW. I'm sorry I was so slow with it guys ):

I just sent my course advisor an email about my problems with school. I've actually been pondering about this for days, so when I clicked the 'send' button it was kind of a relief that I actually got off my ass to send that email to her. Hope she doesn't think I'm trying to fool around or that I'm lying or anything :| /crosses fingers

Went to the music studio to try out the piano that's going to be used for my exams, the pedalling is awful and the whole place is so heavily carpeted that all the sound is absorbed and my mistakes are really obvious, lmao. Plus the keyboard is seasoned, so my fingers keep skidding across the surface ... !! This is bad.

ONTD tells me that Norwegian Wood is being made into a movie. Melissa Lim are you going to queue up to watch it it's Murakami and Kenichi Matsuyama is in it. After some clicking on IMDB I also discover that Nino (yes, that Nino from Arashi who was also in Clint Eastwood's Letters from Iwo Jima, what) is acting in GANTZ. What?? Japan manages to spring surprise after surprise on me.

Today I stood in the snow in clothes fit for the beach. We were on a hill top, we slid down an icy slope on makeshift sleds made from windbreakers, face first, feet planted in the air. Everywhere I walked I made sure to stomp through the snow in my boots. Studied the prints I left behind. Today I started unfinished snowmen, took hits from compact snowballs, gathered useless ice in my red hands, tried to heave blocks of ice bigger than my head over my head.

Today I stood in the snow, on the top of a hill, in clothes fit for the beach in the summer, feeling indestructible, feeling like a conquerer of a new world.

While the internet is busy being a jerk and providing me with abysmal speeds, I will now outline the main things I want to do for December:

✠ Read at least three good books (fiction)
✠ Research something interesting. Which probably means Freud, or math.
✠ Finish writing a fic or two ... or several
✠ Clean my room
✠ Revise contract law
✠ Make icons (ASBAR? Death Note?)
✠ Finish Persona 3!! and hopefully also DDS

( I was bored and went on Youtube looking for Batman-related videos ... )

Anyone read Are You Alice? before? The artist's style is really familiar (her name is Katagiri Ikumi), I can't help but suspect I've seen her work somewhere else before ...

Ahhh all I want to do now is sit down with a cup of hot chocolate and read some lovely poetry D:

Just for u zhenyang~~~~ MATH IN CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!